On the Upbeat, Positively Carolan

My Mother Told Me

I promised myself that someday I would put what I have referred to as “dumb things” my mother told me in print. And I actually did so years after she was gone, and I felt better for it. So now is the time for once again spilling all those nice, sensible or really mean things my mother told me …

•    That I could “talk” toys away from all my kiddie friends.
(The birth of negotiating skills?)
•    That she and Daddy thought I was smarter than they from the age of 6.
(Aha, that’s why I got away with so much.)
•    That I was lucky with money.
(The reason I didn’t learn to save ’till recently?)
•    That I had hips for making babies.
(How horrid is that to hear as a teenager?)
•    That there is no safe way.
(Yes, that’s what she meant.)

•    That in a marriage one person is the flower, the other the gardener.
(I still HATE that — c’mon, there must be some trade-off.)
•    That they were too old to have to worry about me.
(Gee thanks!)
•    That my life read like a cheap novel.
(And she meant it.)
•    That I prayed my sister into existence.
(Never knew what that meant.)

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